friends...i owez love u guys even if u guys dont...

friends...do u remember that we used to climb the wall...lie on the grass shaping objects in the clouds...izin ol dat is a very precious moments?

idk how to start diz out...

hati keringkah aku dengan mengIGNORE my surrounding???
but...i dun want to be sad...
thats all...i miss my past...so FUN...its dem F-U-N~!!

salah ke klau aku xnk tunjukkan diri aku yang sebenar??
teruk sgt ke diri aku ni??

dan paling menyedihkan..bila kehilangan orang yang selama ni bergantung susah dan senang...
tapi apa aku leh bwad...takdir~

once again..aku biasa mengadu dkt da same person dat i feel bad bout my own attitude..
felt like running far far away from evryting..hate it when i hv to lie to myself..
S*** man...

but then die ada ckp...

"zie,kalau org len x knl diri kau,tu xpe..tapi kau kena yakin dgn diri kau..u control ur self..u know ur self better...x perlu kisah apa yg org pk...asalkan kau tahu apa yang baik dan buruk"

*beh kurang gtu la kot ayat dia*

pas bca text msg dia..aku rsa a lil bit lega...btol jugak apa dia ckp...klau aku tuan punya badan x reti hargai diri sniri,spa lg yg nk hargai aku?

'w'out u realize it or not,u r good as da way u r...dun feel bad bout urself'

:(( waaa thz for such word...

but...but...u guys dun understand it...if they feel lonely...i feel like em....discriminate and terasing...klau dlu...bila sedih bila frust...da mmg ada org ready nk tggu dan tenangkn...ada org pujuk dan try to make me feel better...

past few days...im soo deepyly in sad..sangat kecewa dgn smua yg terjadi...i dun blame anybody...but i juz feel sooo dissappointed...dats ol...
sgt sedih dat night...cm nk hempok je smua bnda yg ada di sekeliling..nk bertukar jadi hulk pn ada gak rsa....
tbe2 dpt satu call...guess what?!!

its HIM!!afta few month from 'dat' incident suddenly he called...izit suddenly??
ntahla...xnk pk...but i juz cant hold any longer...i missed him dem much and when i really need him to calm me down..suddenly he appear...sayuu sgt2...

when he called me,suara dia sgt ceria get to talk with me...
but mayb expectation dia unt tgk aku happy menjunam jatuh mcm kerugian stok bursa saham agknye...

mana x nye..da moment i heard him call me "assalamualaikum..hello syg..bwad pe tu?sihat?miss u" gosh! tears bursting again...non stop mcm curahan air di Niagra Falls..
so stupid but i really mish him...

kesian dia..terkaku tiba2...
minus all da part pujuk2...satu yg aku sgt tersentuh when afta i said to him dat ...
"dlu bila resah..bila sedih..abg ada..skang org da hilang dia..abg jauh....org keliru..org xtaw cane nk bangun dr kekecewaan ni...org benci jd lemah cmni for sum1 yg x penah msuk hdp org secara total pn..."

dia tegelak je dgr aku ckp..

"syg..since when u lost me?jarak x penah memisahkn kita ...i owez love u n u owez hv me whenever u want n need me...hijab yg terbentang xkn sekali memisahkn kasih yg tercipta kn?u know dat...dah jgn sedih2...mayb dia x terniat nk bwad gtu kt azie..juz b patient k?azie yg abg kenal kuat semangat..mna maen nanges2 gni..x cool la kn? "

okek..i feel like kickin him hard..aku tgh sedih dia smpt melawak..but dats da only things yg dia ada org len xda..he know hw to cheer me up again...where cn i find another bro juz like him...

afta dat call, i felt better and da ok sket..but suddenly las friday, a frenz of mine come juz to see me..from far she came juz to take my for tea?oh cmmon..mest ada sumting...
she took me to mum's roti and we had quite a heavy meal la...

sum pasta,choc blended and pie...
dats my dish okek??haha for her she toke sum soup,n cake...diet agknye? :P

bila mata bertemu mata...smua terluah..ternyata berat hajat yg dibawanya...i dun want to talk about it...talking bout it juz like opening back all my wounded stitches....but bila pk kn dia sggup dtg dr jauh smata2 want to ask for forgiveness..i kinda kesian la plak...

so i decided to said...

"okek,speak ur mind...ask me whatever u want aslkn u puas ati...n if honesty u seek for, than i'll be as honest as i cn..."

so bermula la sesi temuduga...
bila da smbg2 baru la i phm..rupanya mreka2 ni ingatkn perubahan sikapku kerana telah kehilangan dia...nk tergelak pn ada...

its juz not me unt cry over things yg sgt x patut gtu..i trus our fate...ada kalo..ada la..xda kalo bye2 je la..sum1 better is waitink for me la klau gtu...soooo kesian...
but then soalan cepumas keluar...

"then babe,apa yg bwad u berubah ni??apa slh kitorg smpai u ngelak cm ni?if i ever hurt u, im sorry...but temme why?"

okek at dat time dlm otak aku...

'mati kau azie!apa kau nk goreng ni..perencah xdak nk goreng2...'

and she keep talkin and coaxing me untill i want to reveal everything...

"oh girls...u guys dun knw me well enough...i dun like talkin bout my past la...wut past is past..if u guys ada bwad slh..dun wurry..u guys r my fren..x minx maaf pn i maafkn..even my musuh ketat yg slalu bwad S*** dgn i pn i mampu maafkn dan duduk semeja mkn bergurau..inikn pulak u guys yg agak rapat dgn i berbanding org len...jgn ah cmni..."

okek dats da honest thing i can said to her...x tmbh ajinomoto...jujur dr hati...

x suka la dendam2...itu smua kerja syaitan..ragu2 itu pn bisikan syaitan la...juz ignore it n live our life k???

apa pn yg terjadi we r still frenz and will owez be frenz...

n for u babe, bkn i xnk tnjuk diri i yg sbenar...tp blom tnjuk pn da terluka..beh bek xyah tunjuk spa diri i yg sbenar kn? ;) dun feel worst...

i owez love both of u....although if u guys dont..u should know dat..;)

nak tahu sapa dlm hati sy ikut trutan??? ;)
*ALLAH DAN NABI tentulah dlm hati*
1 - parents n fam
2- MNF n myself
3- yanie
4- nine
5- nik
6-zalya
7-nini
8-incik STAI
9- Kucin matrix *hystrix*
10-ijay..

even u guys dun love me...i still love u guys...

oh yg di atas hyala yg terlalu rapat... x lupa jugak tribute unt2 dak2 star-park...syg korang
- hafiz
-ody
-mard
-muaz
-yana
-ean
-trah
-gengster x
- ekhsan

love u larh... ;)

wut should cuzzy's do?? of cuz...i forgot! look after diz nooligans... kesian anak sedara kami... sempat lagi kami berposing...dan dia mnyibuk!haha
wut else should cuzzy's do???

okek... -_-" listen to the cousin when he want to play sum song??
"lagu rock satu bhai!!!"
heewif my bro...bkn yg baju itam tu...tp yg dlm gajah biru ni...haha baju itam tu future in law...
eshk2

kenangan kau dan aku..teluk batik trip...TRIP ke??huhuhu
hobi kita yg suka bergamba...