17 October 2010

sit and see

"i used to be love drunk but now i'm hung over..love you forever..forever is over" -LOVE DRUNK

i really want to shed everything in here...
but suddenly i felt afraid of what i'm writing...
didnt know that she was watching over what i've been writing since that incident...

the anger withing me is bursting...
she did ask for my forgiveness..
i wish i can forgive her without any leftover grudge..
but..it's hard...
hmm its not that i'm keeping a grudge towards them..
the problem is.........i can't forget all the pain you guys gave me...

on that nite...
suddenly i receive a text msgs from unknown number...
but when i saw the num of 013-8++++ i know..its either him or her...
this time, she really know how to be polite again..
and i appreciate her politeness..
she doesnt appear in my life for nothing...
this time...
she wanted to end the GAME that we've been in without our own consent...

in order to protect everyone's dignity...
i'll change the dialogue a lil bit...

she texted me sayin that :

A : "i have sumtin to tell you zie...but first of all..plz forgive me for everything..."

Z : "hmm wuddup?wut else do u want from me?stret to the point plz"

A: "ok...Since the last time we text, it is all LIES....its been a year...and i couldnt let you be like this anymore...he asked me to get into this GAME  because he couldnt bear to see you get hurt being with him anymore...He really LOVE you...and bcuz of that, he doesnt want to keep the happiness for too long..he is afraid that he wont be able to make you as his wife later on...you know what i mean zie... i know that he still loves you...but do know one thing...he did this bcuz he doesnt want you to get hurt anymore...i hope you can forgive us...i really want to be friend with you again....i never have a friend like you"

Z: oh~i already know that...thz a lot... (the rest is history)

yes....it is already a year since the Volcanic NEWS erupt my life!
mr cuzzy said... "it's been a year azie...for what reason you must be angry any more?you shouldnt be angry...things have long past "

well...thinking of what has been said by mr cuzzy...
i do agree with him...

but somehow, i juz cant put this anger aside...
LOVE is a about trusting your partner...
but he cant even trust me....
he did mention about this to me a few years ago..
but back then, we were only 18 or 19...

i dont want to worry about marriage at an early age...
we are still young and there are still lots of things to be discovered...
i do said to him..
'lets fate do its job...if we're not fated to be together, i'll verily to god.. but let us try to defend this relationship first before i surrender'.....
huh~ who will know this will happen aite?never in my mind i will believe that he will do what he already told me...he did mention about doing 'this' in his own way...but i take it as joke...come on la...percayalah dengan Allah....
gunakan mata hati...jawapan ada kat situ...
can't you feel it deep inside ur heart?
listen to your heart...

after all this years of painful path...
chances has stopped by my door...but i didnt feel like doing anything...
i juz want to sit back and watch what will happen....

hope, you will realize about this one day...

2 comments:

nadeshiko. said...

I'm not quite sure what was happening before this..
tapi bersabarlah, jangan biarkan kecewa dan marah menguasai diri akak..
Coz, itu bukan perkara yang baik..
walaupun sukar dan menyakitkan..
namun, sebaik2 manusia adalah manusia yang sudi memaafkan antara satu sama lain..
dosa yg telah mereka lakukan, biar saja Allah yang menghukum mereka..

EL90 said...

:) thz for the advice..i'll try my best to put aside all the anger and learnt to forgive others...

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